Sunday Scatterings: Not Lost
Okay, okay, I’ve been terribly absent the past couple of weeks. I did do some writing around one or two weeks ago? Gosh how much time has passed?
Since my last SS post, I have posted three times in here, just scroll down to see them, all about my Sleep Study, and then the Results, plus I caught up with Cee’s Share Your World, three in one!
I also managed a few creative writing exercises/ challenges since my last SS post. You can find them at write tuit. I’m trying to do what I can, not always the same challenge, but timing is the biggest element as to whether I get something done. So, I’ve managed one entry for the 100WCGU, Helping Hands. For the Saturday Centus, I’ve managed two in the past few weeks, Texas Pleasure and Recipe Lost. The most recent was for Friday Fictioneers, about Rainbow Fairies.
So, you ask, what have I been busy with? Well, for awhile there, I really thought we had a buyer for the house. So I kinda went crazy looking for an apartment to buy. I even visited one and set up appointments to visit three others. But then, after a week without word from the prospective buyers, who had come to see the house twice at rather inconvenient times, they decided against it.
Yes, I was really disappointed. Plus I had talked to the bank and they are concerned about my disability in terms of how much they will lend me to buy an apartment, so I have to talk to a financial counselor who knows the Disability laws here and can find a bank that will work for me. Not impossible, just more busy work and hunting. This weekend I’ve decided to just let it go and not worry about it.
Oh! I almost forgot to mention – I got my breathing apparatus, for my sleeping time. It’s fairly simple, and I got the least bothersome “mask” to use. It only covers my nose. I’m to try it out and see if it works okay. If I end up breathing through my mouth a lot I may have to change masks, but hopefully not as this one seems fairly comfortable.
I haven’t tried it yet. i picked it up on Saturday and didn’t have the courage to assemble it until today, so tonight will be my first try with it. I’ll let you know how it goes.
Meanwhile, sorry I haven’t been visiting much. My mind has been on other things for awhile.
Be well, be happy, and above all, enjoy!
Judee
Sleep Study: Results
Okay, so I snore. 
The problem is, it’s more than just snoring. Apparently I’ve been diagnosed with moderate to high Sleep Apnea (pauses in breathing) with periods of Hypopnea (abnormally shallow breathing), both of which cause a disruption in the levels of blood oxygen. I also have periods of “mysterious” (unexplained) lowering of blood oxygen that are not specifically correlated with the above two conditions. I’ve linked to Wikipedia for anyone wanting more technical info.
Here’s a lovely little graphic, I just know you’re going to appreciate. Basically, what is happening, is that my breathing sometimes becomes obstructed (the snoring part) when the back of the tongue and soft palate relax too much against the airway, thus closing it off. Eventually, the brain decides it needs oxygen and begins to insist a bit and forces an intake of air, that then will rattle against the throat and cause the snoring sound.
Keep in mind that while apnea is often accompanied by snoring, snoring does not necessarily mean that there is apnea. There are many other causes of snoring. In my case, some, but not all of the apnea “events” are related to snoring, or obstruction. The others are related to shallow breathing.
I’ve been aware of the shallow breathing for awhile now – it happens during the day, too. When I’m concentrated on something, like typing this post, my breathing can slow down to be almost imperceptible. It’s shallow, slow, and sometimes simply pauses, even though I’m awake. I can be doing something and become vaguely aware that I’m not breathing, or breathing very shallowly, at which point I will take a deep breath and continue on with whatever I was doing.
That’s why I wanted to do the sleep study, because I figure if I’m doing that during the day, what might be happening at night? Well, now I know.
My oxygen levels are de-saturating during the night. I have the report with all the charts and levels, and a pattern becomes visible, shallow respiration, oxygen goes down, heart rate increases and at some point, the depth of sleep is interrupted, it rises toward waking, and I start breathing more deeply and oxygen goes back up.
Apparently, though, this is happening too often and the oxygen is remaining too low and the increases in heart rate are not good for the heart, and the lack of oxygen isn’t good for the brain, and the disrupted sleep is not good for anything.
Lol, that’s a lot of “not good”s in there, huh? But there is treatment. It’s called a CPAP, and it’s a kind of mask one wears at night that forces airflow into the mouth and nostrils to keep the air passage open. I’m getting one set up for me next Friday. I’ve been told it’s hard to get used to, and some people cannot adapt, but others can. There are also several kinds of masks, so if one doesn’t work, another might. I know it looks cumbersome, but hey, at least I don’t have to have an oxygen tank, right? This is just air flow. Hopefully by keeping my air passage open, it will help increase the oxygen flow to the blood.
I’m a little bit concerned about the unexplained incidents of low oxygen, though, and may ask my doctor to refer me to a LungDoc and let him look at the sleep study and maybe do a daytime oxygen monitoring to see what’s happening. But I may wait and see how this goes first. One thing at a time.
Anyway, there is good news to all this. It could explain some of my fatigue during the day, even some of my fuzzy thinking and a lot of other minor things I’ve been attributing to simple ageing, or to my meds, etc. Apparently, even my eyesight might improve, because one of the symptoms listed for the low oxygen levels was eye fatigue. Imagine that.
I’m actually looking forward to giving it a try to see if it improves how I feel in general. I’ve got a week to wait before I can try it, but I’m hoping for the best. Meanwhile, I figure a few deep breathing exercises during the day might be helpful, and certainly can’t hurt. Come on, along with me:
Breathe in…..
Breathe out…
Get oxygenated. It’s good for you!
Share Your World 19, 20, 21
I’ve missed some weeks of Share Your World, so I’m hoping to catch up with a few.
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So here are my answers for week 21:
If you were having difficulty on an important test and could safely cheat by looking at someone else’s paper, would you do so? Nope, not even tempted. I don’t understand how people can feel good about claiming something as their own work when it isn’t.
Since adolescence, in what three-year period do you feel you experienced the most personal growth and change?
As a mom, I’m tempted to say the three years after the birth of my first child, but while that was certainly a period of change and growth, it still doesn’t compare to the changes and growth that took place in me after my divorce. Learning that I could be self sufficient took at least those three years, and i’m still learning, but it has been a wonderful process of personal growth for me.
If you could change one thing about your home, what would you like to change? No More Stairs! I live in a condominium style home that has three floors, and the stairs are becoming very difficult for me. OUr house is for sale actually and I hope to find a cozy apartment on one floor.
If you were given a yacht today, what would you name it? Merrilly’s Dream. (pun intended for those that get it)
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On to Week 20 (I know, I’m going backwards, it’s how I do things, lol):
How old would you be if you didn’t know how old you are? That’s a hard one. Physically, most of the time I feel about 80, though that’s not really fair because when my mom was alive and well at age 85 she still had a lot more energy than I do. Emotionally? Actually, I feel pretty mature, so I think I am pretty much at home with my age, 60. I know I’m supposed to say I feel young at heart and all that, but do I really? No. My heart is where it is, settled in after 60 years of living, and still enjoying being alive. So even if I didn’t know my age, I’d still guess myself to be on the upper end of the scale.
What is the kindest thing anyone has done for you? When I was 15 and diagnosed with Hodgkin’s my parents told me the truth. I think that was not only the kindest thing they could do, but the bravest. Never underestimate your children and what they are capable of understanding.
What was your favorite childhood television program? Leave it to Beaver. We watched the originals in black and white, no color tv back then. I wanted to say Star Trek, but I think we weren’t allowed to watch it when I was little, but I caught the reruns when I was older.
Which cooking utensil (other than the usual pots and pans etc) would you miss the most? Cooking utensil? What’s that?
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And back again, to Week 19:
Do you believe in ghosts? I guess it depends on the definition. Actual ghosts, dunno, but energy left behind, that can be felt by some people, yes, I think that’s possible. We all leave our imprint to a degree, and some of that energy can be left behind. I know I’ve had a few experiences that are not so easily explained, so I’m open to at least the idea. And I like to think I’ve had dream visitations on occasion.
What is your best recipe? The perfect boiled egg. Put eggs in a pan, cover them with water, add a splash of vinegar, and set the heat to medium high. As soon as the water starts to boil (you do need to watch for it) turn off the fire (remove the pan from the heat with electric stoves) then put the lid on and let it set in the hot water for 18 minutes. After that, run them in cold water for a moment and remove them and let them cool. Perfect cooked eggs every time. You may have to adjust the 18 minutes depending on the size of the eggs. And that is the only recipe I know…
What is your most favorite smell/scent? Cinnamon.
What subject was your favorite in all of your schooling? Why? A Creative Writing class I took at University, because it didn’t so much teach as inspire. There were a few basics included, but the emphasis was on creativity and I loved that.
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That’s a lot of questions answered and shared. If you’ve stuck around long enough to read all of that, thank you for your patience! If not, that’s okay, too. Thank you Cee, for this and the others – I hope to catch up on reading some of them soon!
Sleep Study? Really?
Now that is an experience I am not likely to repeat, lol! Of course, I need to wait for the analysis, to see if it revealed anything interesting, so maybe it was worth it, time will tell. Please note, the following is not a rant. I’m too easy going to rant, lol, I’m just letting you know what happened, and half chuckling to myself as I write, so read it in that tone, please. (I did say half-chuckle, so if anyone wants to feel sympathy for me they can.)
I should have known by the way it started that it was going to be a long night. It was slated for 9:30 pm, but I left 45 minutes early so I wouldn’t have to drive in the night, or evening dusk – my eyes don’t do well with night driving, and we’re not quite far enough along in DST. Dusk is around 9 pm, followed by dark by 9:30, so I wanted to get there by 8:45 at least. On my way there, it started to rain – and get somber, and it was already like driving in dusk. Bad calculation on my part, I guess. I had seen the clouds, just didn’t realize they would blow in so soon.
Still, rain is not a problem, and I got there around 8:45. They had told me to park in the free parking on the other side of the Clinic, which I did. It was still raining. I got drenched getting to that Clinic entry. Umbrella, you say? Yeah, I admit it, I forgot one – for that matter, I don’t think I even own one as I go out so infrequently and usually park in sheltered areas. I guess I should buy one and keep it in my car. Don’t you love the little lessons life throws at you constantly? 
So there I was at the entry – and it was closed. Message to enter at the other entry, the one I would have parked at anyway – so I went back to my car, drenching again, and made it over the main clinic parking and entrance. Got more drenched getting to that entry, and headed to the tea room where they have comfy sofas and chairs. I was just ready to settle into a comfy chair when they told me they were closing in 5 minutes at 9pm – so up I got again, and went to sit in a chair in the lobby that is so not comfortable, in fact very uncomfortable for me. Signs! Signs! Always easier to see in retrospect.
I really wish I had a picture to show you. So just go along and try to imagine it.
I was finally taken to the Sleep Clinic, at 9:30 on the dot by the young technician who was to be my night guardian – he had to be in his early 20′s, and later told me he was studying, and this was his night job once a week, so for once my estimate was probably correct. Next I put on my pyjamas, and when I come back into the room, he tells me to take off my top. Just so you know, I’m used to this. Um, not used to being seen half naked by young men, just being seen half naked by medical technicians. Anyway, he didn’t have anything interesting to see, lol, and it’s been a long time since I’ve been embarrassed.
So I stand there while he wraps a soft, stretchy belt around me just below my breasts. On the belt is a rectangular box with several wires running out of it. One main cord hangs down from it and leads to a bigger box on the wall. He then puts two bands of a thin material with fine wires woven through it around my upper chest and my stomach. These have wires that connect into the central box, and apparently measure the chest and belly movement of breathing. Other wires go to some electrodes for the heart, and some for the legs.
Finally, it’s time for the head. I sit in a chair and he pulls over a tall metal stand with a metal tube in a circle at the top and a ton of wires running down the center of it and coming out on all sides. This is for the head. After putting a kind of net over my head and leaving it around my neck, he puts an oxygen thing on me with little tubes for the nostrils. No it doesn’t go to an oxygen tank, it somehow measures breath flow through the nostrils. For the last stage, and probably the one that takes the longest, the technician puts a bunch of little electrodes on my head, one by one, with some kind of gel to help them stick. This is followed by a few more electrodes on my face, that he fastens with tape. then pulls the net that was around my neck up over my face and head, cutting an opening just big enough for my eyes, nose, and mouth. Lovely. I really do wish I had a picture.
After all that, I’m supposed to sleep? Ha! Well, it wasn’t that bad. If you had put me in my water-bed, I probably would have drifted right off as usual. I normally sleep on my back anyway. But this bed? It was hard. I mean really hard. One of the hardest mattresses I’ve ever been on. I was expecting something like a hospital bed, but nope – this mattress would never have bent like a hospital bed can do. It was that hard.
Needless to say, I didn’t sleep well. It seemed like it took me a long while to fall asleep, and even then I kept waking through the night. It was more like napping than sleeping, though I guess I did sleep some, because morning finally came, I was detached and sent to the shower, and the young tech brought me coffee and another little form to fill out. The form asked about my sleep during the previous night. I managed to be polite and answer the questions honestly.
Anyway, it’s done. And the sleep specialist will study it and give his analysis, which will probably say something about me not sleeping well, which is not usually the case for me. All I really want to know is if I’m getting enough oxygen as I sleep – they did put an oxygen monitor on my finger, and I woke with numbness on my face, which is what I wanted to find out about. My right hand was also completely numb (that one has to be positional) which happens from time to time. If they can assure me that my breathing is okay and I’m getting enough oxygen in the night, then it will be worth it., and I can consider the numbness as something positional.
It’s nice to be home. Even nicer to know my water-bed will be there for me tonight. I love my water-bed, and it’s the one thing I wish I could take with me when I move, but that I can’t, as it is way too big for an apartment sized bedroom. Oh well, at least I can appreciate it while it’s here.
So that’s the tale. If any of you have to go in for a sleep study, at least you’ll know what to expect. It wasn’t that bad, certainly benign, and hopefully worth it. I just hope that if any of you do have to do this, they at least put you in a comfortable bed!
Sleep well, all.
Judee
Sunday Scatterings 04.29.12
Okay, I ran late this week, and no excuses, and I’m also cheating and dating this Sunday instead of Monday morning when I’m writing it. Don’t you love that date option? It’s great for recording past dreams and having them display on the date you dreamed them.
Speaking of which, tuit dreams now has two more dreams, both from this past week. Tornado Watch was quite a breathtaking ride, and City Visitations, where the word “visitation” takes on a whole new meaning. Do you ever feel like loved ones who have passed on still visit you in dreams? I do, most definitely. They don’t usually have anything important to say, but they always leave me with a sense of comfort at having visited with them, no matter what form the dream takes, or even if they are simply secondary characters in it.
A very creative blogger got me inspired this week to take out my Photoshop and Apophysis renders and play with a base image offered for play. you can see what I did at a round tuit, with my post Freaky Zen Inspiration.
Writing, of the creative kind, has, alas, been a bit on hold while I do other kinds of writing, of the filling out forms kind. But I couldn’t resist Jenny Matlock’s latest prompt, and just had to participate with my offering for Saturday Centus: Texas at write tuit.
Scattered Thoughts:
So what have I been doing? Well, I’ve been on the Swiss version of Disability since around 2006, which was fine until my ex lost his work and could no longer send me alimony. Don’t worry, we’re on good terms, and he gives me all his papers to prove his finances, the guy really is in debt up to his ears. But the way it has affected me is that I now have a very limited income and all the bills associated with a house that is too big for me. Even with an apartment, rent around her is more than I get for Disability, which is why they have what loosely translates to Supplemental disability, for those who don’t have a second income (spouse or alimony) or fortune or pension plan, etc..
It took a lot of paperwork, and having to prove that my ex wasn’t hiding money from me, but I was finally accepted. The Supplemental income won’t make me rich, but it helps. It’s individually based on need, and a very balanced system. The supplemental income is just enough to get by on, but enough is just that – enough, and a wonderful relief!
And there are other benefits that are even more important than the income itself – the Supplemental program pays my basic health insurance, and the deductible. It also pays for home help, assistance with whatever I need help for out of the home, like help getting groceries and someone to wash my hair for me and basically whatever else I might need to allow me to stay independent. Some of it I don’t need yet, but once the house is sold (and that’s a must, as it’s on 3 floors and I need a “flat” apartment) my daughter will no longer be with me so I’ll need some of those services then.
I cannot tell you what a relief it is to have this. It assures me that I will have the help I need. And when I sell the house and buy an apartment, it will be adjusted accordingly, so no worries there. I am truly blessed. It may have been a long road, and I understand why they can’t just give this away, but at last it’s final and I can breathe again.
Of course, it also means more forms to fill out, lol, and past insurance payments to copy and send in (It’s retroactive to January of this year which is when I applied for it) and I’ve been busy with that and a few other things like doctor visits and such. (No worries, routine)
On Monday (shh, that’s today actually) I’m going in to do a Sleep Analysis, not because I’ve had trouble sleeping, as that is pretty much explainable, but because I wake up with numbness in my face and my hands crisped into fists up against my chest. I told the doctor and he wants to see what goes on with me at night, if I could be sleeping in a way that cuts off circulation or whatever, and if I’m crisped up all night or just in the morning, etc. Should be interesting, I’ve never done anything like it before – they put electrodes all over you and film you sleeping – eek. I hope I don’t do anything too disgusting, like snore really loud. I guess I’ll find out, lol.
Anyway, no promises, but I hope to pick up some writing again soon, I love doing the challenges. And I’m also wanting to do some artwork. But wanting is far from actually doing, so I guess we’ll just have to wait and see.
Thanks for the visit, and you all have a great week!
Judee
