Memory is fluid. It evolves as we do, changes along with us. It is, by its nature, both truth and illusion.
I think one reason I started keeping a personal journal so many years ago is that I realized this to a certain degree. I knew that what we remember about any given event in our lives is selective, filtered by the current moment. If we are feeling good, optimistic, we may remember an event in a positive light, whereas if we are feeling down, anxious or depressed, we might remember that exact same event, but focus on elements that were not positive.
I’ve decided that five blogs is just too many.
There, I said it. And some may have noticed – I’ve already started blending into this one. My writing blog, write tuit , is now incorporated into this one. WordPress, thank you for making it so easy! All I had to do was export it to a file, then import it into this one, and it blended right in, putting my creative writing posts in chronological order mixed in with these posts. Perfect!
I probably could have predicted this.
The lack of posts, I mean. I get involved in things and then really go at it, even overly so (look, I have 5 blogs!) and then I get sidetracked by life and just can’t find my way back in to what I started.
My favorite blog to post to, write tuit, hasn’t had a post in 5 months! I love writing creatively, and reading the posts from all the wonderful challenges. So why haven’t I been doing it? It’s as much a mystery to me as to you. Still, I’m keeping that blog around as I do intend to get back to writing eventually, it’s the one thing I love most.
It has been even longer since I posted in a round tuit because it was originally intended as a blog for my site which is about 3d Computer Art. I was going to revamp my site, which has been out of date for at least a couple of years, and link it to the blog. Didn’t get done.
The one I’m saddest about is Life Adapted. The intentions were good, but I just never got into it. It’s a subject that I don’t like thinking about, actually, so maybe that is the problem. I had hoped to be helpful, but ended up with a huge block about writing in it.
My Dream Journal, though, is something I do intend to keep up, I just don’t
dream remember my dreams that often. I have had a few dreams this past month or so that I’ve written out but not yet posted, so I hope to get that done soon.
I’ve been thinking about just lumping them all into one journal – aside from the dream journal, that is. Maybe if I put everything in one place, I’d be less pressured. Wait, pressured isn’t exactly the right word. It’s just that, the goals for the separate journals aren’t being met. I still haven’t re-installed my computer graphics programs since I changed computers months ago.
The problem is, I like having things separated, compartmentalized. It makes it easier for me to focus. And I like having different color schemes, too. Hmm… maybe if I play around with the layouts it will get me inspired to come back and do some writing. We’ll see, I guess. If you see some changes, at least you’ll know why.
One thing I’ve discovered now that I have a laptop and a desktop – I need to network them together so I can see files from one to the other. Most of my blog stuff is on the desktop, but I find the laptop easier for just popping in and writing a post. But like everything else, I keep saying, I’ll do that once I move.
Oh, yeah, still not moving. The house is still on the market, the Realtors tell me the price is right, but no one is buying. I’m beginning to feel a bit of pressure, less like my usual zen self. Well, not so much pressure as just feeling unsettled, I guess. I feel like I can’t do anything creative until I’m settled into my new apartment, whenever that may be. I know it will happen eventually, I just wish the timeline would hurry up. 😉 Impatient much?
For anyone who was following the CPAP adventure, well, I’ve returned the machine. Yay! No more! I did NOT go back to the CPAP-doc, I just told my GP /General Practitioner that I wasn’t going to use it, period and he couldn’t make me, lol. So instead, he suggested home oxygen, at least for nighttime, so now I have an oxygen diffuser machine thingy. When he first suggested oxygen, I had visions of this huge steel bottle standing by my bed, but instead, it’s a small black box. I don’t know how, but it creates oxygen and then I can use one of those nose tube things for delivery of oxygen. It’s unobtrusive, (the nose tube) and I can sleep any way I want with it. I measured my oxygen levels during use and it stays up around 98% all night long.
So I’m finally getting correct amounts of oxygen while I sleep. It doesn’t force anything, just allows for a little extra oxygen to be breathed in along with the rest of the air. If my problem really had been apnea, there would have been some slumps from apnea obstruction, but there weren’t, so I guess I didn’t really need the CPAP after all.
Okay, so I guess I’ve updated what’s happening. Who knows when I’ll be back again – your guess is as good as mine. I could go on like this with occasional posts here and there for months, or I could throw out a whole slew of them again.
Only way to know is to wait and see…..
Okay, okay, I’ve been terribly absent the past couple of weeks. I did do some writing around one or two weeks ago? Gosh how much time has passed?
I also managed a few creative writing exercises/ challenges since my last SS post. You can find them at write tuit. I’m trying to do what I can, not always the same challenge, but timing is the biggest element as to whether I get something done. So, I’ve managed one entry for the 100WCGU, Helping Hands. For the Saturday Centus, I’ve managed two in the past few weeks, Texas Pleasure and Recipe Lost. The most recent was for Friday Fictioneers, about Rainbow Fairies.
So, you ask, what have I been busy with? Well, for awhile there, I really thought we had a buyer for the house. So I kinda went crazy looking for an apartment to buy. I even visited one and set up appointments to visit three others. But then, after a week without word from the prospective buyers, who had come to see the house twice at rather inconvenient times, they decided against it.
Yes, I was really disappointed. Plus I had talked to the bank and they are concerned about my disability in terms of how much they will lend me to buy an apartment, so I have to talk to a financial counselor who knows the Disability laws here and can find a bank that will work for me. Not impossible, just more busy work and hunting. This weekend I’ve decided to just let it go and not worry about it.
Oh! I almost forgot to mention – I got my breathing apparatus, for my sleeping time. It’s fairly simple, and I got the least bothersome “mask” to use. It only covers my nose. I’m to try it out and see if it works okay. If I end up breathing through my mouth a lot I may have to change masks, but hopefully not as this one seems fairly comfortable.
I haven’t tried it yet. i picked it up on Saturday and didn’t have the courage to assemble it until today, so tonight will be my first try with it. I’ll let you know how it goes.
Meanwhile, sorry I haven’t been visiting much. My mind has been on other things for awhile.
Be well, be happy, and above all, enjoy!
Okay, I ran late this week, and no excuses, and I’m also cheating and dating this Sunday instead of Monday morning when I’m writing it. Don’t you love that date option? It’s great for recording past dreams and having them display on the date you dreamed them.
Speaking of which, tuit dreams now has two more dreams, both from this past week. Tornado Watch was quite a breathtaking ride, and City Visitations, where the word “visitation” takes on a whole new meaning. Do you ever feel like loved ones who have passed on still visit you in dreams? I do, most definitely. They don’t usually have anything important to say, but they always leave me with a sense of comfort at having visited with them, no matter what form the dream takes, or even if they are simply secondary characters in it.
A very creative blogger got me inspired this week to take out my Photoshop and Apophysis renders and play with a base image offered for play. you can see what I did at a round tuit, with my post Freaky Zen Inspiration.
Writing, of the creative kind, has, alas, been a bit on hold while I do other kinds of writing, of the filling out forms kind. But I couldn’t resist Jenny Matlock’s latest prompt, and just had to participate with my offering for Saturday Centus: Texas at write tuit.
So what have I been doing? Well, I’ve been on the Swiss version of Disability since around 2006, which was fine until my ex lost his work and could no longer send me alimony. Don’t worry, we’re on good terms, and he gives me all his papers to prove his finances, the guy really is in debt up to his ears. But the way it has affected me is that I now have a very limited income and all the bills associated with a house that is too big for me. Even with an apartment, rent around her is more than I get for Disability, which is why they have what loosely translates to Supplemental disability, for those who don’t have a second income (spouse or alimony) or fortune or pension plan, etc..
It took a lot of paperwork, and having to prove that my ex wasn’t hiding money from me, but I was finally accepted. The Supplemental income won’t make me rich, but it helps. It’s individually based on need, and a very balanced system. The supplemental income is just enough to get by on, but enough is just that – enough, and a wonderful relief!
And there are other benefits that are even more important than the income itself – the Supplemental program pays my basic health insurance, and the deductible. It also pays for home help, assistance with whatever I need help for out of the home, like help getting groceries and someone to wash my hair for me and basically whatever else I might need to allow me to stay independent. Some of it I don’t need yet, but once the house is sold (and that’s a must, as it’s on 3 floors and I need a “flat” apartment) my daughter will no longer be with me so I’ll need some of those services then.
I cannot tell you what a relief it is to have this. It assures me that I will have the help I need. And when I sell the house and buy an apartment, it will be adjusted accordingly, so no worries there. I am truly blessed. It may have been a long road, and I understand why they can’t just give this away, but at last it’s final and I can breathe again.
Of course, it also means more forms to fill out, lol, and past insurance payments to copy and send in (It’s retroactive to January of this year which is when I applied for it) and I’ve been busy with that and a few other things like doctor visits and such. (No worries, routine)
On Monday (shh, that’s today actually) I’m going in to do a Sleep Analysis, not because I’ve had trouble sleeping, as that is pretty much explainable, but because I wake up with numbness in my face and my hands crisped into fists up against my chest. I told the doctor and he wants to see what goes on with me at night, if I could be sleeping in a way that cuts off circulation or whatever, and if I’m crisped up all night or just in the morning, etc. Should be interesting, I’ve never done anything like it before – they put electrodes all over you and film you sleeping – eek. I hope I don’t do anything too disgusting, like snore really loud. I guess I’ll find out, lol.
Anyway, no promises, but I hope to pick up some writing again soon, I love doing the challenges. And I’m also wanting to do some artwork. But wanting is far from actually doing, so I guess we’ll just have to wait and see.
Thanks for the visit, and you all have a great week!
So, what have I posted this week? Let’s just start with that. 🙂
in tuit (this blog) Cee’s Share Your World 16 with some interesting questions.
write tuit (writing challenges) My post Writing Challenge: Plots is for Chris Donner’s new challenge. It’s very different from the usual fare, so check it out if you’re looking for inspiration. At Julia’s Place, Julia gave us an interesting twist to this weeks 100 word challenge, my entry is 100WCGU: Rabbit. My second try at Quill Shiv’s Flash Fiction Faction gave me quite a creepy idea in Fiction Faction: Cheating Death. And guess what? Jenny Matlock’s Saturday Centus is celebrating the 100th week! Her unusually long prompt was a tough act to follow, but I tried it with Saturday Centus: Windfall.
I have a busy week planned, so may not get much blogging done. But I will write what I can when I can and we’ll just have to wait and see what that means, because I have no idea! 😉
Have a great week!
Apparently Europe has joined the States (US) in DST: Surprise. I woke this morning, put on my computer, and discovered an hour missing from my day. Imagine that. How can an hour be stolen like that? Of course, I guess we can say we get it back in the fall, but still, I don’t think I’ll ever fully understand the “why” of DST. Oh, I know the why of its origin in the past, just not the why of continuing it.
This week has been a writerly week more than anything else, though I did participate in last week’s Photo Challenge – Unusual on my a round tuit blog. I decided to switch the photos to the other blog. Okay, so I get like that from time to time, still settling into having 5 blogs to handle. I didn’t manage to get to Jakes Sunday Post this past week, but maybe this week, we’ll have to see how it rolls. And Cee, I’ll be checking your weekly questions, too.
I did write a different kind of post (for me) in this blog, in tuit. Find it here – Re-inventing the Past? I’d love your thoughts on it if you have a moment.
Now, on to the writing challenges, in my blog write tuit. I not only managed the three main ones I try to follow, but added a fourth! I know I can’t possibly keep up that pace each week, but some weeks you just wanna write, and others you don’t, so it’s nice to have the options. Check them out if you have the inclination, writing challenges are a great way to challenge your writerly skill. Here they are:
“Evidence” is my tale for Flash Fiction Faction, the new challenge on the block, hosted by Quill Shiv, and a fun and interesting challenge it is. Next in line is the weekly 100 Word Challenge for Grownups, hosted at Julia’s Place, (100WCGU) and my entry, titled Wish Fulfillment which is about a very unusual red box. I think you may be surprised. 😉 For Friday Fictioneers Madison Woods gave us yet another challenging photo prompt, which resulted in my tale Kill Shot. Last, but not least, I managed to complete Jenny Matlock’s Saturday Centus on the weekend it was assigned! Check out Living the Dream for a bit of fun.
Oh, and I don’t want to forget, if you’re curious, here is a glimpse at my Writerly Space, which is also my artistic space and my communication space and my DVD space and my just about everything but sleeping space although I occasionally manage to doze there too) – My Writerly Space Feel free to share your space, too, it’s fun!
A big thank you to all who stop by any of my blogs, each visit is greatly appreciated.
Have a great week everyone, be creative, and be happy!
Well, this has been a bit of a slow week for me, meaning that I had some offline stuff to take care of.. While I know i have no need to apologise, I still feel the need to mention that I am sorry when I miss certain challenges. I had set a kind of weekly goal to participate in certain challenges. Here are the posts for this week:
Sunday Post: Last week’s theme Landscape in a round tuit
Share Your World: this past week, SYW #12 in this blog, in tuit
100 Word challenge from Julia’s Place Leap in write tuit
Friday Fictioneers Flash Fiction Alas, I missed the deadline on this one.
Weekly Photo Challenge Another miss – but I may get it done before next Friday
Saturday Centus this week’s theme Goodbye in write tuit
Dream Journal I added a Page, titled On Dreams
An Award a lovely gesture from Nia who offered me the Kreativ Blogger award, thank you Nia.
Now I find myself in a bit of a conundrum. In addition, to the weekly challenges, I have plans for other kinds of posts in the digital art blog, plans that I haven’t even started on because I seem to be spending all my time on the challenges. I feel like I’m neglecting the artist in me – though I admit I’ve always been more writer than artist, still, I want to express that part of me too, only, it’s not getting much expression. I also have plans for the other blogs, and while there is no hurry, I feel like I’m neglecting them too.
Don’t get me wrong, I love the challenges, all of them, but my energy level has been low for the past couple of weeks, and my mind isn’t as focused as I would like.Plus, I have a series of medical tests that I do every Spring, and a few in the Autumn, and during those periods I tend to find myself exhausted more often than not. So for the next couple of months it may be difficult to participate in all of the challenges. Because participation, for me, means not only doing it, but going to other blogs and reading their posts, too. I am probably not the only one who has discovered how time consuming that can be. It’s good time, and enjoyable, but time nonetheless.
What to do? I don’t want to stop participating, but at the same time, I want to be more expressive in an unscheduled way, too. I know a lot of you out there also participate in these challenges, so my question is, how do you do it? Where do you find the time? Any suggestions for me? I guess I could rotate, but that just doesn’t seem like an answer I want. I missed the deadline for this weeks Friday Fiction and it really made me feel bad, because I love creative writing and want to do it. I’ve also run across other challenges I would like to take part in, but just didn’t feel I could add yet another one.
Then again, that feels like rigid thinking. Maybe I should just stop trying to do it all each week, and go with the flow. It’s how I live my life, so why not let it be how I live my blog? Maybe that is the best solution, at least until all the appointment interruptions are done and I have my energy back. Oh wait, lol, I’m also putting the house on the market and hunting for an apartment to buy. Oh gosh I had forgotten about that. In fact, I need to find sme papers for tomorrow and I haven’t even started looking for them. Scattered Judee…
What on earth possessed me to start five different blogs at this time??? Ha! Gotta love my sense of timing – and yet, the timing is right, I feel it. This is what I need to be doing now, and so I am.
Just so you know – To those of you who host the blogs with challenges, if I don’t take part each week, it doesn’t mean I’ve abandoned your challenge or didn’t like the prompt for the week, it just means I am having to pace myself. For now.
Meanwhile, have a great week!
So what have I done this week? Well, I got my taxes done, we have a new way to file them by internet, yes really. Oh, but that’s not what this is about, right, my postings this week, okay…
This week in tuitland:
in tuit, this blog, I had four posts? Great! There was the Share Your World 11 post from last Sunday – another one coming this week, but not yet. I made a post about Silly Synchronicities and I received an Award, shared some abc’s about me and passed it on in Awardingly Alphabetical. Finally, a few pictures in this weeks Daily Post’s Weekly Photo Challenge: Indulgence
a round tuit has nothing new this week. I haven’t yet gotten to Jakes Sunday Post, but will post that sometime this next week..
write tuit has three offerings this week. Julia’s 100 Word Challenge Flip Side is about a big decision. Madison Woods’ Friday Fiction picture prompt inspired an unusual scene in Flash Friday: Green. And Jenny Matlock’s Saturday Centus was all about – a Chair!
That’s all for this week. Ten posts in one week, not too bad. I hope you all have a wonderful week, and keep on blogging!
I think I may change my Sunday Scatterings to Saturday Scatterings next week – there are just too many different things I post on Sunday, makes it hard to keep up. But here we are with another week passed, and lemme see, have I done anything? Well, my taxes are still waiting on me, so if next weeks pickings are slim, we’ll know why.
I also feel like I’ve had a very lazy week, especially in terms of creativity. Guess I better go look see…
in tuit that’s this one, so you may have already seen, I did manage two posts this week. First off, I answered Cee’s questions for the weekly Share your World and let’s not forget the Weekly Photo Challenge, this week the topic is Down. Cee has already posted the next weekly share, but it may take me a day or two to get tuit.
a round tuit Well, I didn’t get any of the planned posts on digital art posted, bad me – but I did manage two posts, both on a Sunday, one last week and one this week. Thanks to jakesprinter for the inspiration, I’ve managed to create a couple of posts at least, Sunday Post – Expression and Sunday Post – Colorful. Yes, I actually got a post done on the same day of the theme, but I admit I had help because jake posted the prompt yesterday. 😉
write tuit No 100Wcgu this week as the last one was for 2 weeks duration, but I did manage to write. We had another Friday Fictioneers picture prompt which inspired my Flash Friday – Alive post. I do love these challenges. I also have two posts for Saturday Centus, again I managed the second one this week, but only because it was a 6 word challenge instead of a 100 word challenge. Crafty Jenny. 😉 You still have plenty of time for this weeks challenge, and will find the link on my page. My two posts are here: Saturday Centus – Firehouse Wedding and Saturday Centus – Autobriefagraphical
Hey, unless I’m mis-counting, that’s 7 posts. Pretty good for a week.
I also got an award! Yep, little ole me – but you’ll have to check back to see what it’s about. (Hey, gotta keep you coming back one way or another, right?)
On a side note – Jenny’s Centus is hosted at Blogspot, and I am having problems posting comments there Sometimes (maybe 10% of the time) OpenID works, most of the time, not. WordPress sign in, the same thing, about 98% not working. So if you are a Blogspot blogger, know that I do read and appreciate all challenge posts, I just can’t always comment. In fact, i can’t even comment on Jenny’s own post, if it weren’t for the linky thing I wouldn’t be able to participate.
One thing that does work is if you leave the option to comment with Name/URL. Those usually do work. Some of them come with the “captcha” bot and while that is better than not being able to comment, I must say sometimes the words on there are very very difficult to read. If I may suggest, try without it and see, maybe you won’t get too much spam, but if you do feel you need it, keep it – just give us an alternative sign-in (like Name(URL) pretty please…
No dreams this week, so nothing added to that blog, and nothing yet on the Life Adapted blog – though I do have intentions for that one, it’s not something I like to focus on, and i need to be in a certain frame of mind to work on it, so any of you interested, please be patient. Though if you are interested, you probably learned patience already…
Have a great week everyone, and above all – Enjoy!