“Should” is a six letter word.

I have a lot of interests, things I enjoy doing, and of course, never enough time to do them all, but usually I manage to flit around from interest to interest, giving some of my energy here, then a bit there, and it all balances out. No problem, I live at my own rhythm and it works for me.

It may not be routine in the most common sense of the word, because there is no order to the rhythms of my interests. I can spend weeks in writer mode, a day in art mode, 10 days in organizing mode, then 5 days in communication mode, and back to 3 days writer mode and a month art mode, etc. No rhyme or reason to it, I just follow my muse where it takes me. In that way it is kind of like a routine in that it’s a pattern of living that works well for me.

However, every now and then, I get overloaded with outside stuff, interruptions in the flow, unexpected events like computer meltdowns or even expected events like doctor appointments and such. Plus trying to see my house and find an apartment, which takes my focus away from the flow and into territories that are unpredictable in their own way. Necessary disruptions, but disruptions nonetheless.

So what happens when these disruptions interrupt the flow of my living?

I shut down.

Yes, okay, not completely. I deal with the appointments, and even enjoy looking for apartments and I don’t really mind the visits of people coming to see the house, because each time brings hope that it’s the right time, though thus far it hasn’t been. I even like setting up computers and such, that kind of fits into my organizing mode, and so I don’t really see it as an interruption, but then again, it can’t be done in short spurts, I need about a day to focus on it and get it done.

The thing is, when I get . . .   shifted into all these daily interruptions, I tend to put my main interests on hold. So in my free time, instead of coming in here and blogging and reading blogs and communicating, or opening up Photoshop or other art programs, I instead watch tv series online, play simple computer games, listen to audiobooks, and read Kindle books. All things I do enjoy doing. But at the same time, they are all things that are what I call receptive activities. They require no thinking on my part, no focus on what it happening here and now. They are pass-times, fun ways to pass the time while I’m waiting.

But… waiting for what?  For my house to sell and for me to move and get settled into a new apartment? Well, yeah, kinda, that does pop into my mind a lot. I often find myself projecting into the future, thinking that once I get settled I can go back to my usual “routine” of going with the flow.  I even tell myself that this current behavior is also going with the flow, because  I actually do enjoy looking at apartments for sale, so if that takes time away from other activities, so be it.

So what does this have to do with the title on this page? Well, I was visiting my CPAPdoc yesterday and he was talking about exercise, getting out and walking in nature and breathing in fresh air, etc. I mumbled something like “I really should do that.” and he stopped me, and said, “No. If you say it that way, you’ll never do it. Should is a word that often creates resistance on a psychological level. Instead, say you would enjoy doing that. Look at whatever you’re saying should about and think of it as something you would enjoy doing.”

It was an eye opener for me. I’ve been telling myself “I should write more in my blog” and “I should get my new computer set up so I can do some artwork.” Even, “I should spend more time doing creative activities and less time watching tv shows.” And it has created an invisible wall between me and those activities. And it made me forget the flow. Because I’ve also been using “should not”. I shouldn’t watch so much tv. Why not? I enjoy watching series online or on dvd, and I enjoy reading and sometimes it’s nice to just veg out awhile. I also enjoy looking for apartments, and I enjoy setting up computers, I really do enjoy all of it.

But for many things I’ve been stuck in resistance mode, simply because I’ve been thinking in terms of should instead of enjoyment.

This morning, I thought about what the CPAPdoc said and I thought to myself, I would enjoy sharing that with the blogging community. So here I am, sharing it. And I really would enjoy getting my new computer set up, so that is what I will be doing today. And if I feel like doing something else, I’ll do something else. It’s really that simple.

And yes, there are things that can’t be put aside, like the house sale and apartment hunt, but again, I enjoy those things, but I have been looking at them as tasks that need to get done, and not as part of the flow, part of the adventure. Putting the enjoyment back into it will make all the difference.

So, where does that leave me? Back in the flow. Does that mean I’ll be writing more in here? I have no idea. I’ll write when I have something I would enjoy sharing, and I won’t when I don’t.

All in good time.

All with enjoyment.

Judee  🙂

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10 responses

  1. Should … it’s a bastard of a word. I like your routine. I think many of us or on the 10-5-3-2 day patterns of activities. Good post.

    1. Thanks, Guat, nice of you to drop by. 🙂

  2. I can so relate to your post, Judee…”should” is a nasty little word much of the time! And you are so right- re-framing things can make such a difference. So lovely to ‘see’ you here again 🙂

    1. And lovely to see you, too, thanks for dropping by. 🙂

  3. Oh boy did you hit the nail on the head Judee! I recognize myself in your words and I must say, I “enjoy” reading that others share the same dilemma. Isn’t it amazing how word choices make a difference in what we do and think? I should, I might, I’ll think about it, maybe I will–oh what the hell, why not? LOL

    1. You said it – words have a lot more power than most of us realize, and that’s why they have power, because we don’t think about it or notice it we just get into verbal habits without realizing the underlying effect they have on us.

      So nice to see you Jeannie, thanks for dropping by.

  4. It’s been ages, I know. I’ve been kind of in the situation(s) you’re talking about. Too many projects I like to do, life distracting me, wanting always to be doing something else than what I’m doing RIGHT NOW. I’m back for a while and am trying to catch up on hundreds of comments.

    I know exactly what you’re talking about. The best anyone can do, I suppose (how the heck do I know since I can’t find time for EVERYthing?) is do the best they can. I’ve tried scheduling ‘activities’. Yes, scheduling. Sometimes…some of the scheduling works.

    1. Scheduling works when you want it to, or when it’s necessary (like doctor appointments, etc) but I find in general that even if you have 3 or 4 things you really do want to do at a given time, the best thing is to sit back for a minute, close your eyes, and “feel” which one pulls at you the most. Then do it.

      When you are wanting to be doing something other than what you are doing right now, you have two choices: 1) stop doing what you’re doing, or, 2) decide that you do want to do what you are doing, or you wouldn’t be doing it. If you dig deep enough, you’ll figure out why you are doing what you’re doing, and realize it is a choice. And once you realize it’s a choice, you can continue, knowing it’s what you choose, or stop and do something else.

      Hope that made sense. 😉

  5. You should know you’ve been missed. 😉

    1. Thank you so much Sandra. I think once I finally get my desktop computer setup I will “enjoy” passing through here more often. 😉

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