Flash Friday – Kill Shot

I’m turning this in a little late, but hey, there are things called Time Zones, so even if it’s not Friday, many of you are still asleep and not yet wakened to your Saturday morning, so I’m sneaking it in. πŸ˜‰

Madison Woods has again given us a challenging picture for this weeks 100 word flash for Friday Fictioneers. To see what she and others were inspired to write, just click the link.

This week’s picture prompt:

My entry: Kill Shot. 100 words.

********************

A twig snapped under her boot, cracking into the distance. Amanda froze.

Distant voices, coming closer, “This way! Over here!”

Amanda ran.

The first shot came from behind, hitting her right shoulder, spinning her around with surprising force. The second shot hit square in the chest, She stumbled back, falling to the ground.

They surrounded her. “Kill shot!”

She glanced down at the bright blue paint.

“Game over.” Β Josh reached down to help her up.

Amanda couldn’t lift her arm. Hot pain stabbed. “I think I may have broken something.”

A dark red stain spread out from under her shoulder.

********************

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43 responses

  1. Madison Woods | Reply

    The fact that it struck her with such unexpected force in the shoulder does sound like a real bullet and that little detail was a great one to include. A paintball would hurt but wouldn’t likely spin her around like that. Great story! And yes, I’d like to hear another installment this week πŸ™‚

    1. Thank you Madison. As for installment, no promises. These drabbles are exercises for me, to keep my mind creative, but I don’t really have a goal of developing anything with them. One never knows, of course… Thanks for visiting, and again, for hosting.

  2. Whoa… I totally thought she was being hunted. You painted this picture so clearly and just took us twisting and turning through it. Fantastic work — and I would say it’s complex, albeit in a different, far more concrete (and doubly interesting) way than mine.

    1. Yes, I guess mine is more concrete, where as yours is more psychological – but then I love psychological elements in fiction so I’d say interest is in the eye of the reader. πŸ˜‰ Thanks so much for the comment, I appreciate it.

  3. Beautifully twisty, and the title suggests to me that shoulder is more serious than she first thinks!

    I’m over here: http://elmowrites.wordpress.com/2012/03/23/friday-fictioneers-the-crater/

    1. Yes, it may well be. I like leaving it open to interpretation. Thanks for the visit and comment, elmo.

  4. This is a great story! Red paint and a fall? Or did someone use a bullet? Love it!

    1. It can be whatever you wish it to be. That’s the fun of these short fiction pieces. Thanks for dropping b! πŸ™‚

  5. You kept us on a roller coaster with this tale. Well done.

    Thanks for the nice comments on mine.

    http://russellgayer.blogspot.com/

    1. Thanks russel, I enjoy giving people roller coaster rides. πŸ˜‰ Yours was a real fun one too.

  6. Sounds like a professional hit by a master marksman (or markswoman, who knows?), judging my the timing of the shot and how it coincides with the “harmless” paintball hit.
    Very, very good.

    http://garybaileywriting.wordpress.com/2012/03/23/fridayfictioneers-crimson-sunset/

    1. Thank you Gary, I apprecaite the comment.

  7. Very well written, with lots of tension and terror combined. Yes, we do not know who shot her with the real bullet. Maybe the “Kill Shot” saved her life!
    Fun to leave us wondering. A little cruel too…

    1. Well, cruel is part of these 100 word flashes, there are so many I’d like to hear more about. πŸ™‚ Thanks for commenting.

  8. Very well done. I enjoyed your twist on this prompt! Nice work.

    1. Thank you , glad you enjoyed it. πŸ™‚

  9. I love this and the last line, “A dark red stain spread out from under her shoulder.” Nice!

    1. Thank you Susie. Nice of you to stop by and comment.

  10. A double “whoa”. If it’s just a game of paintball, why would one shoot Amanda with a real bullet in the first place? Did someone misfired? Is it a stray bullet? Is the suspect a paintball player or just a hunter in the woods? Is there someone trying to kill her? I love mystery stories and you succeeded making one in this very brief flash fiction (that sounds redundant). A great post.

    Cheers from the Philippines,

    Allen

    1. Thank you so much, glad it spurred your imagination! πŸ™‚

  11. […] Fictioneers Madison Woods gave us yet another challenging photo prompt, which resulted in my tale Kill Shot.Β  Last, but not least, I managed to complete Jenny Matlock’s Saturday Centus on the weekend […]

  12. This was really good. At first I just assumed it was a paint-ball exercise gone wrong but when I read it again it opened up even further. You’ve done well with this one. I started thinking about her catching the cold eyes of one of the group, the one that had used real bullets …

    Nice one, well done. Thanks for visiting mine.

    1. Thank you Sandra, and you’re right, that blood wasn’t from the fall. I just love mysteries! πŸ˜‰ Thank you so much for the read and comment.

  13. Wow–got me with a double-whammy. Just as I’m pulled in, I learn it’s paintball THEN the twist at the end grabs me when I realize there was a “real” shot. Nicely done. Wonderful, unexpected twists–love it!

    Thanks for visiting my site–I appreciated it.

    1. Glad you enjoyed it, i enjoy twists myself, I guess that’s why i use them so often. Thank you for the visit and comment.

  14. Paint ball. Nice twist. Good story.

    1. Thank you, nice of you to stop by and comment. πŸ™‚

  15. Miraculous…was providence on hand to safe her from the horde? Really imaginative.

    1. Thank you Charles. I’m off to read yours.

  16. Dear Judee,

    I think you just wanted to shoot somebody.

    Like most of your readers, I’m curious about the rest of the story. Who is playing dirty and why? Maybe another Friday you could satisfy our curiosity.

    (Hey! We just had an decent sized earthquake here. Headed to USGS to see how big and where.)

    Aloha,

    Doug

    1. Ha, actually I can think of a couple of somebodys I’d like to shoot. πŸ˜‰ Maybe we both had shooting in mind. Thanks for the read and comment, and I hope the Earthquake wasn’t too bad.

  17. Double twist. Nice way to play your readers. I can always appreciate a surprise like this…Now I have to know who did it – who was playing dirty.

    ~Susan (ps – I fixed your comment – no worries!)

    1. WEll, that’s a mystery, isn’t it? πŸ˜‰ Thanks for dropping by, and also for fixing that link. Happy to see you.

    1. Thank you Shirley, I like unexpected, too. Nice to see you here.

  18. Lora Mitchell | Reply

    Whew…relieved to learn they are playing that “Paint Ball” game but why is she bleeding? A real bullet wound? Then someone in the group isn’t playing nice. What a surprising twist.!! Here’s mine:
    http://www.triplemoonstar.blogspot.com

    1. Who says they have to play fair? πŸ˜‰ Thanks for the visit, Lora.

  19. On edge with a twist to another edge. Very cool. I was initially unsettled, then relieved, then unsettled…very effective.

    1. Thank you Kris, glad you liked it, and happy to see you participated.

  20. This story definitely came from that photo… I wondered if Amanda was an animal they were hunting at first. Paint ball… nice twist. From fear to relief at a game. Poor Amanda… very clever.

    http://tedstrutz.com/2012/03/24/friday-flash-fictioneers-bang/

    1. Thank you Ted, nice of you to comment. πŸ™‚

  21. Shocking and imaginative. Need to know: was she shot by a real bullet? Here’s mine: http://furiousfictions.com

    1. Yep, at least, that’s what i was hoping to convey – a few more words might have made it clearer, but that’s the fun of tightening it up, it leaves some things open to question. Thanks for the visit. πŸ™‚

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