Friday Fictioneers Feb. 03, 2012

It’s Flash Friday, time for the Friday Fictioneers challenge, at Madison Woods blog.  It’s short fiction of  100 words, created in your imagination with the aid of a picture prompt (or not). If you want to join in sometime, here is the link to Madison Woods Friday Fictioneers instruction page. To see hers and the other entries, go HERE to this weeks entries.

The picture prompt:

My entry,  99 words :

*******************************

Your soul shines forth as you stand in the doorway, intense flares of illumination reaching into this dimly lit room, like the last bright gasp of the sun before it sinks behind the horizon.

Is it time? The brightness in your eyes tells me it is so. The radiance spilling from you comforts me, assures me there is nothing to fear. A sweet smile of parting touches your lips, and you nod to me, as if to say, “all is well.” The door closes, leaving me alone; knowing, and at peace.

I wake, and wait for the phone call.

*******************************

Thank you for reading.

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29 responses

  1. Mm. That was an intense one. I especially like the last line. Thanks for sharing — sorry it took me so long to get here!

    1. Never too late, thanks for commenting.

    1. Yes, they can be very powerful. Thanks for stopping by.

  2. […] tuit:  three 100 word challenges: 100 Word Challenge,  Friday Fictioneers, and Saturday […]

  3. Very nice. If the metaphor is extended to include the fall AND rise of the sun, then this scenario could reflect something that is experienced and felt every day.

    Here’s my story: http://wp.me/p24aJS-2l

    1. Thanks for the visit and the comment!

  4. I really enjoyed this. Very subtle and poignant. Great last line.

    Here’s mine: http://wp.me/p1Tjpv-8P

    1. Thank you for the comment, subtle and poignant is what I was going for. Glad you liked it.

  5. My internet keeps going out while I’m waiting for the comment to post 😦 Now I can’t remember what I said originally, but I really enjoyed your story.

    1. Sorry about the connection problems, that’s a real pain, I know. But thank you for dropping by, and I’m glad you enjoyed it.

  6. I love the build-up here, and the subtlety of that last line. The text is ambiguous, but the context is hauntingly clear. Very impressive.

    Here’s my entry:
    http://jaykayel.wordpress.com/2012/02/03/circular-logic-100-word-flash-fiction/

    1. Thank you Jake, I was afraid that last line would either be too obvious, or misconstrued. I’m glad you enjoyed it.

  7. Oh, I loved the ending. Bittersweet, yet peaceful. I imagined any number of folks who’d want that one moment to say goodbye. Very nice, Judee.

    1. Thank you Cara, for your thoughtful comment. And yes, it is a lovely way to say goodbye.

  8. That’s very dreamy, soft and intimate… a unique take on the photo! Lovely.

    1. I’m glad you liked it, that is the feeling I was trying for. Thanks for the visit.

  9. Wow you raised my goose pimples. What an evocative spiritual journey. Great job!

    1. Thank you so much Wakefield, so glad you dropped by.

  10. The phone call comes from the hospital and says “No, no everything’s fine. Come on down, she just woke up.”

    This actually a really peaceful way of moving on. :/ It’s a happy/sad ending.

    Here’s mine: http://wp.me/p29sL6-E

    1. Ah, the optimist! Wouldn’t that be nice? But yes, this way was very peaceful. Thank you for commenting.

  11. Wow, powerful writing, Judee. I loved the use of the photo as a premonition and the sense of sadness pervades all the words. Well done. 🙂

    1. Thank you so much Siohban. I’m glad you liked it.

  12. Very creative take on the photo. The images are just suggestive enough to keep the story moving ahead. I think the ending is mysterious, but I think it means the dream was an omen of passage, and our hero is waiting to get the news. Great story!
    Here’s mine: http://bridgesareforburning.wordpress.com/

    1. Thank you for the thoughtful comment. And yes, you caught the intention. That’s good to know, because sometimes in writing something that may seem obvious to the writer, it may not be so to the reader.

  13. I wasn’t really sure what was going on in the first paragraph but then the beauty of the next paragraph and the killer end line made me think that the “soul shiner” is dead and the other is waiting for the call to confirm it? If so, this is nicely done.

    1. Yes, you got it. i wasn’t sure how clear it would be, so I’m glad you picked up on that. Thanks for reading and commenting.

  14. Neat ending! Full of possibility (or could it be disaster?)
    Thanks for sharing!

    http://kbnelson.wordpress.com/2012/02/03/friday-flash-the-burn/

    1. I think short fiction like this is very open to interpretation – which is what makes it so fun! Thansk for the visit.

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